This is probably my favorite Woody Allen quote and that’s saying something as I like a lot of them! I would LOVE to live my life like this.
“In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.
You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school.
You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play.
You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born.
And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila!
You finish off as an orgasm!”
Some other Woody Allen quotes that I greatly enjoy:
“That sex was the most fun I’ve ever had without laughing.” – from Annie Hall
“Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.” – from A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy
“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”
“It’s just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.” – from Manhattan
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
“I thought of that old joke: This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, ‘Doc, my brother’s crazy, he thinks he’s a chicken.’ And the doctor says, ‘Well why don’t you turn him in?’ and the guy says, ‘I would, but I need the eggs.’ Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships. They’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd, but I guess we keep going through it because most of us need the eggs.” – from Annie Hall